Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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