Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
look no pants
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
