If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
there is glitter all over my balls
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
