bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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