Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
