I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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