PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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