I look better un-naked...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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