I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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