O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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