Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I love you.
Bad choice
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
