I cockslap morals
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just had sex on a roof
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
