all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We have started to decorate penises.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
