i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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