Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
