Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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