It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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