It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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