He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
