girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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