Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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