JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize