Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
