You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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