she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
