She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
