im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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