Don't make out with my wife yet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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