i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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