She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
