Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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