halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
