Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
