I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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