If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
