My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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