There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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