you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
