I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Green mimosas i think yes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
