just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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