just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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