____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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