So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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