you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
