Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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