Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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