my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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