he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
