Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
