somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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