dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
