She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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