Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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