Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
