She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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