this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize