My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
