What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
