She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
