She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
