Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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