Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Someone signed my nipple.
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