He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
