you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
