So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
