whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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