oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
