I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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