What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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