I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
last night I used snow as a chaser
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
