the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
