I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
