Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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