They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize