shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
