do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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