i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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