idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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