May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
