take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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