I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize