i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
