my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
