There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
